Making Myself Accountable

 Today I ran on the treadmill. For those of you that know me I HATE to run, in fact I am not one of those people that likes to work out at all. I would much rather get my exercise in by doing things like Zumba, yoga, or kickboxing; something that is fun and I get to listen to music, and there is always someone that is worse than me in the class. But since we are poor college students and now we have a baby we don’t have a gym membership right now and I am the heaviest I have ever been I am doing what I can with what I have. My grandparents gave us a treadmill and while it sits in my living room haunting me most days today I decided to use it. I decided to start out slow, and by slow I mean really really slow. I only ran for 5 minutes and trust me they were some of the longest in my life. I wanted to quit so many times but I kept telling myself; mind over matter, it is not that bad, keep going, do this for yourself and you know what I did it. I made it through those long 5 minutes. I gained about 35 pounds when I was pregnant and I have had such a hard time getting it off. I breastfed since you burn lots of extra calories I thought that would help, no such luck I only lost 5 pounds since I had him and I’m pretty sure that was just from when I got him out of my belly.

I have dieted and exercised my whole life. I have never enjoyed it but I have done it. This time it is different, I am tired all the time from staying up with Zeke when he doesn’t sleep, I struggle to have enough energy to even make dinner let alone get up and work out. But my husband and I have made a decision to lose weight and get healthy and we plan on making it a lifestyle change. I have done plenty of crash diets and lose weight quick type things but I have made a promise to myself to stop doing those and make a change that will help my son grow up in a healthy home. So we are not starving ourselves or working out for hours a day, but we are holding ourselves accountable and choosing to make good decisions. We work out most mornings while our son naps, we eat healthy foods, we don’t keep sweets in the house so if we want them we have to make them and then I can substitute healthier ingredients, and (the most important thing) we WANT to be healthy and take care of our bodies. 

Mainly I am a real life mom with a cute but sometimes very difficult son, I gained weight as so many women do when they are pregnant and I want to get it off, I have stretch marks that will be there forever, I am a real person struggling every day to stay healthy. I could so easily make mac and cheese for dinner because it is easy and cheap but I am not going to take the easy route anymore. I am not saying I am never going to eat junk food, because I will but I am going to do my best to eat much more healthy whole food then junk food. 

So those 5 minutes I ran today on the treadmill, yea I am proud of that. I know it is not much but I had to start somewhere. I am going to keep working out and getting stronger every day. I am a real person with real goals and I really can’t wait until I meet them.